Way back at the end of May, 28 of Ripon’s finest sporting heroes (22 of whom could actually play allegedly, with the remainder, supporting personnel, not just along for the ride, but to “manage hydration levels” and ensure no players went missing) descended on Brussels. The Holiday Inn Hotel near the European Parliament never knew what hit it, as court sessions, drinking games and searches for missing people and possessions, kept the place ticking over 24/7. Non-playing days were spent “culturally exploring” the diplomatic quarter’s bars and restaurants, purely for research purposes of course. The high point of the adventure being the tour of the impressive “Beer World”, Belgium’s homage to its illustrious brewing history. Ironically, despite some of the finest beers known to mankind being on offer in this vibrant city, the Riponians, true to form engaged in drinking their own body weight in Guinness and Italian Lager each day. Local bar tenders cringed at the blatant disregard for the domestic offerings and when faced with questions like: “If there’s no Moretti, has tha no Theakston’s on draft?” shook their heads in disbelief.

On the pitch and participating in a mini-tournament, mercifully with uncontested scrums throughout; Ripon smashed Welsh guests Caerphilly 14 – 12 after a slow start, primarily due to finding enough boots to accommodate the number of players selected. Scores in this opening round came from tries by Roebuck and Burgin and two conversions from Harry Drane. Outstanding for Ripon was Roebuck, who must have been feigning drinking alcohol for the previous 36 hours, as he put in a top-notch performance throughout. This included a solo try effort, well nobody could keep up with him, from a stolen kick off reception. As The Blues forced their way back from a half time 0 – 12 deficit. Ugly scenes developed as the one-dimensional Welsh team struggled against Ripon’s brutal forward power, with Barker “the enforcer” at his most enforcing. With the final move of the game sealing Caerphilly’s fate through Burgin’s converted try, it was all too much for the boys from the Principality and their resorting to further intimidatory attempts, ended the game in a manner more befitting MMA than Rugby Union. Ripon clearly won on all counts as after playing matters concluded, the Welshmen were nowhere to be seen for the post-competition hospitality.

Next up was Netherlands side Eindhoven, some of whom had made themselves known to the tourists the previous evening. Their thinly veiled attempts to scupper Ripon’s playing potential fell at the first hurdle, with sufficient of The Blues’ playing strength experienced not only in playing matters, but also well-versed in the dark arts of drinking games… Complacency however, got the better of the tourists, when after a strong first half and a lead of 12 – 5 at the break, Ripon caved as the Dutchmen pulled a further two unopposed tries out of the bag late in the second half to win undeservedly 12 - 17. Tom Roebuck, putting in a solid bid for player of the tour, added to the score sheet again with one try from the first kick off and newcomer Niall Maddock, showed hitherto unnoticed and unbelieved pace and agility to score Ripon’s second. Harry Drane managed 50% of the conversion attempts.

Down, but not out, The Blues, despite emerging injury issues (or were they just keen to get back into socialising?) took to the field with perhaps their strongest combination against arguably the weakest opposition of the afternoon. The first half was a masterclass in Scrum Half play, as injury to the young pretender, opened the way for Drane Senior to take to the field and show everyone how things were done. With two tries and a conversion within ten minutes to “Big Draney”, the Riponians were left as bemused as the opposition, as to where this sudden spurt of sporting magnificence came from? A further try from Marston edged Ripon nicely into a 17 – 0 half time lead. Despite a momentary come back with a solitary unconverted try from the hosts, the rest of the second period was all Ripon.

Standing out was Tom Leeming, looking to ingratiate himself as a club man again after a few years’ absence. His solo try effort and conversion, took the final score to a creditable 24 – 5 and Ripon, winning more matches than the other teams, worthy winners of the day.
With two wins, a virtual trophy in hand, and more selfies with beer cans in hand than line-outs won, Ripon set about cooling down and then partaking of the “Après-Rugby” sans of course, the bad losers from South Wales. Mission accomplished. The hospitality was commendable, with a fine barbecue and lots of chats with Dutch and Belgian comrades in arms. The only shame being despite Ripon’s sporting prowess on the pitch, their knowledge of the Dutch, Flemish and Walloon languages left a lot to be desired and so mercifully, everyone spoke and sang in English.

The tourists and hosts ended the day’s proceedings with a court session in the sunshine, with plenty of cold beers left to refresh. The final competitive event of the day was a lap of the 400m running track with a handicapped starting line-up of transgressors, tour virgins and anyone else the judge was minded to send around the course. In true tradition of only naming tourists in terms of their on-pitch activities, all of the competitors shall remain anonymous. Safe to say however, that the winner by far was entirely unexpected and whilst one participant got off to a blistering start, they didn’t finish too well.

The “rest day” on the Sunday started in fine form with a fully functional court session in the hotel garden. The key theme of the session was “learning from experiences” rather than arbitrary punishments and there was indeed plenty of learning (in liquid form) on display. The day’s plan to explore the educational and cultural infrastructure of Brussels began well in O’Reilly’s Bar, developed nicely as intended through the Beer World tour and then degenerated as expected as the day drew to a close. Some nice touches, were the experimenting with local cuisine delicacies, such as Chicken McNuggets and KFC Popcorn Chicken, clearly mainstays of the local diet. There were also touching examples of efforts of team leaders, seeking to improve their conversational knowledge of indigenous languages, through reciting passages from locally sourced comic books.

The final day of departure started with a number of “harmless misunderstandings” about wake-up times, followed by hysterical to-ing and fro-ing to get the party together for the 06.00 leave. All present and correct, the party headed back home and all that remained was the final mobile court session back at Manchester Airport, to address any outstanding issues and give the necessary thank you messages. An important vote was also conducted to identify the “top tourist”. Despite some hot competition from many, mostly younger and inexperienced tourists, who came of age this year, the accolade was deservedly won by Billy Fletcher. An all-round good guy, happy and smiley in the face of adversity and a workhorse on the pitch. Billy is the epitome of what touring is all about and a clear indication that as DoR’s son, nepotism is alive and kicking in Ripon RUFC.

A tour is one of the best experiences you can have in our game, whether at home or abroad and this was no exception. It’s a chance to step away from the daily grind, travel with pals, make new ones and throw oneself into rugby and all the associated fun and challenges.
On tour, the team spirit goes through the roof — long bus journeys and flights, shared meals, hard-fought matches, and nights out together bring the squad closer than ever. Playing against new teams adds a fresh challenge too, helping players learn, adapt, and test themselves in ways the regular season can’t, not to mention being a “good sport”. And of course, there’s the excitement of visiting new places and enjoying a beer or two. Here’s to the next one.